BLOOD LOSS

by Rikonius

The after-dinner crowd had departed from the mall's food court. A few random shoppers and hangers on lingered, but for the most part, the four had the area to themselves.

At Steve's suggestion, they took the table in the back, next to the vacant corpse of a semi-upscale tavern that just went under. Steve sat with his back to the empty tavern, kicked his plastic chair back, and propped his feet up onto the table with his lanky legs extended and his ankles casually crossed. The move would have been much cooler had the chair not squeaked loudly as it slid.

Dana rolled her eyes and sat to Steve's left, slouching in her chair. Flicking her bright red hair with her right hand, making no effort to hide how bored she was.

Jerry slowly set his immense bulk into the chair to Steve's right, making it painfully clear that his muscular bulk had been a trade off forsaking speed.

Nora sat across from Steve. She was the newest member of the group. Not quite sure of her place or what exactly was expected. She didn't think she should be here for this discussion, but Steve had insisted they all come.

"I still can't believe Kyle went around the bend like that," Jerry said. "It's so sudden."

Dana snorted. "Kyle was always around the bend. He holds the all time lap record for going around the bend." Steve was silent, but the intensity of his stare was such that Dana knew to stop short even though she could not see it. "Well, he is crazy."

Steve pointed across the room. "He's a bit crazier lately, and I'm pretty sure that's why."

Jerry turned around to look. "What? The pretzel stand?"

"No Jerry," Steve said, "to the left."

"Oh... wait, the Five Guys?"

"Between them!"

The four of them started at the machine. A vending machine, but with no snacks. Just paper, ink, and the cruel hand of fate. This particular Machine of Death was a particularly tacky affair. Looking for all the world like a coffin stood on its end, with the top door popped open, like an open casket viewing. The cheap mannequin inside had shiny black plastic hair in a widow's peak.

"Why would he even use one of those... things?" Nora asked. "It's just morbid."

"Kyle's behavior is not unheard of, you know," Steve explained. "You haven't hit your 'sell-by' date, as Kyle puts it. It changes things." More eye rolling from Dana, but Steve ignored this and continued. "There's no exact date, nobody can know that, not even the people who use those foolish machines. But people with our condition generally have an idea of when we should be gone, and someday, you realize that you should be dead, but you're not...

"Once you know that, everyone handles it differently. Me? I see every day as a gift. And I am one magnificently gifted bastard. Kyle went they other way. He's afraid of his time running out. That colors everything he does. Including this latest nonsense."

"Actually, there's a support group I read about for people who do know the date. It's rare, but it happens." Jerry said.

"Not relevant, Jer."

"Maybe it is." Nora spoke tentatively. "We don't know what his slip said. But it freaked him out. Maybe it had a date."

"Who cares what his paper said? We just need to deal with it."

Dana stood up. "Actually, I think the machine is relevant. Come on. I think we should give it a go."

"Oh, great idea Dana," Jerry replied. "The machine made Kyle go nutzoid, so let's all use it."

"Nutzoid?"

"Hey, it's a word. I think."

In an eyeblink, Steve was standing next to Dana. "Dana's right. We should find out more about these machines. It may help us figure out how best to proceed."

#

Soon, Dana and Steve were in line. Nora arrived next and Jerry, unsurprisingly, was the last to reach the machine.

Dana read the information on the inside of the open coffin "door". "Five bucks in the bill slot, then stick your finger in the finger slot, then grab your paper. Simple."

The machine accepted Dana's bill, the plastic framing around the finger slot lit up, and the mannequin opened and closed its mouth, nowhere near any sort of synchronization with the pre-recorded "I vant to test your blood" message.

Dana put her finger in the finger slot, but the Machine of Death stood obstinately silent and still. "OK, I see why this machine drove Kyle crazy. It doesn't fucking work!"

She was about to pull her hand away, when Nora sprinted up beside her, holding a straw from the food court communal counter. "Hold still," she said as she put the straw into the finger slot.

Dana hissed softly as the needle poked her fingertip. "What the hell did you do, Nora?"

"I figured you weren't tripping the photo-receptor that triggers the needle. Looks like I was right."

The machine began to whirr and clank, sounding like an old, slightly out of alignment dot matrix printer. This was followed by a soft thwip as card-stock popped out of the result slot.

When the other three had their slips, Dana pulled hers up to show the group. "BLOOD LOSS".

"I think my 'PUNCTURE' card is a better quality read," Nora said. "Saying BLOOD LOSS is kind of cheating, I think. Most deaths are blood loss if you think about it. Shootings, stabbings, loss of blood to the brain after a heart attack..."

"Hey, you mind not going on about the blood loss? I haven't had my dinner yet," Jerry complained.

"So what'd you get Jer?"

Jerry looked at his card, then he looked uncomfortably at the large bank of windows at the end of the food court. "I'm going to get thrown out of a window."

"A window?" Steve asked. "Really?"

"See for yourself," Jerry said as he held up his "EXSANGUINATION" card.

Steve rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Jerry, you've somehow managed to confuse exsanguination with defenestration."

"Yeah, Jerry. Your card's more of that lame blood loss cheating."

The other three looked at Steve. "So, what's your card say?" Dana asked.

"My card says I know why Kyle is acting so weird."

#

As the group walked to the apartment building where Kyle was holed up, Jerry nervously shuffled his card around and glanced furtively at every window. "So it's true about Kyle?" he asked Steve.

"What? That he's gone Howard Hughes?"

"No, I mean his roommate situation. Werewolves? That's messed up."

"Oh that, yeah. It's true."

"But, I mean, we hunt those creatures. They're a menace! How did he even convince them to take him in without eating him?"

"He must have offered to pay them really well. Hey, keep it down. This is their flat."

Jerry looked at the 5 story tenement. "It doesn't look flat to me."

"Shut up. I need to talk to Kyle," Steve said as he pressed the buzzer button for the apartment where he knew Kyle was staying. "Hey, Kyle. We need to talk about your Machine of Death prediction. I think you misinterpreted it."

#

The speaker over the buzzer came online with a slightly garbled "Go away, Steve!"

"Kyle, come on down, we need to talk. I know what's upset you, and it's nothing to worry about."

"I don't have anything to say to you!"

"Hey Kyle, does this buzzer camera work?"

"Yeah, but I don't know what you'd want it for!"

Steve reached into his jacket pocket and produced his card, he propped it up on the ledge beside him, in front of the camera so Kyle could see "VAMPIRES".

"Where did you get that?" Kyle hissed.

"Out of the machine, when I got tested tonight. I'm guessing your card said the same thing. And our friends got 'BLOOD LOSS', 'EXSANGUINATION', and 'PUNCTURE'. Notice a theme?"

"So that's it? You want to hole up with me? Well forget it! We'd just kill each other!"

"Kyle, you idiot! The cards aren't for us!"

"Yes they are, we used the machine, it gave us our cards. Who else would they be for?"

Steve was getting frustrated. His eyes flashed red and his teeth lengthened then retracted. "Who else would they be for? Oh, I don't know. Maybe the drunken businessman we fed on at the subway station the other night!"

"Steve, we used the machine!"

"Yes, and it tests blood!" Steve waited for the wheels to click. But sadly, when Kyle got worked up, he made Jerry look like a certified genius. "Kyle, it tests blood. We're full of that cheap suit-wearing bastard's blood. So what's the machine say? 'VAMPIRES', because that's what killed him! Vampires! Us! Each of us got a result that says in some fashion 'vampires kill you and drink your blood' because that's how our bloodbanks die!" Steve hissed impatiently.

A few more moments passed. "So, uh, the card isn't saying you guys will kill me?"

"The card is not a prediction anymore. It's a post-diction. You're safe from the icy fingers of fate. So come on down!"

"Oh, OK. I'll be right down!"

#

As the five walked away from the tenement, Kyle relaxed a bit.

"Whew, dude, you smell like wet dog!" Dana told him.

"Yeah, the werewolves were good hosts, but, well, yeah, wet dog smell is something I'll be glad to leave behind."

"I still can't believe you let that card make you so crazy," Dana continued.

"Yeah, well. It's over now. I know you won't kill me, so things can go back the way they were."

Just then, Jerry grabbed Kyle's left arm, and Dana and Nora grabbed his left. "Hey, what the fuck?" he asked as he noticed Steve reaching into his jacket liner and pulling out a thin but sturdy wooden stake.

"Sorry Kyle, I hate to have to do it, but the Nest has rules about fraternizing with the fleabags. And you've been on thin ice lately. The Council says you need to be an example." Steve explained as he moved almost instantly in front of Kyle and plunged the stake in. Blood gushed out of the wound, however, any blood which did not impact immediately with the ground or one of Kyle's attackers turned to ash.

Kyle let out a soundless scream as his flesh cracked and turned to ashes and blew away in the wind.

"Poor Kyle, always letting some wild notion get him out of control..."

Jerry glanced at a small smattering of ash that didn't blow off. "But Steve, his card was right. He was killed by vampires. And you're an enforcer, so odds are good that vampires will kill you too."

"Oh don't you start too!"

"And hey, if some hunter stakes Nora, that's a puncture. And of course, blood loss could be starvation, or the blood pouring our of a stake wound or a decapitated neck stump!"

"Odd as it is to say this, Jerry has a point, those cards may read true for us after all," Nora said. Then she slapped Jerry's shoulder a couple times. "Better stay away from tall windows, big guy."

Back to site