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Realm of Rikonia
Rikonian Revuze
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Reviewed By: Lord High Rikonian ( 12/17/2009 5:12:26 PM)
Rating: 3.00 undead levitating skanks
Genre: Bram Stoker's Dracula
Starring: Commissioner Gordon, Hannibal Lecter, Neo, Spock's mom
Plot: You know this story. Gary Oldman is Dracula, the undead vampiric prince of the night. And he spends the first part of the movie living up to his last name as Theodore S Logan Esquire travels to Transylvania to help the evil undead Commissioner Gordon move to London.
After pricking his finger, and seeing Dracula go all semi orgasmic at the blood, Neo decides to, instead of backing out of the room and running like hell, go ahead and stay in Dracula's castle, where he is assailed by the levitating lesbian threeway from Meat Loaf's I Would Do Anything For Love video.
Despite these travails, they arrive at London and Commissioner Gordon is a huge hit with London society and it looks like he will take over Old Blighty uncontested, until famed vampire hunter Hannibal Lecter comes in to kill him.
Can Hannibal Lecter, the dude from Speed and some other people stop Commissioner Gordon's nefarious plot to create an army of bat-men?
Viewing Advice: This movie is fun, but not great enough to warrant re-watching, so it's a definite rental.
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