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Realm of Rikonia
Rikonian Revuze
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Reviewed By: Lord High Rikonian ( 2/19/2013 2:33:02 PM)
Rating: 4.00 bald dudes
Genre: Crime revenge thriller
Starring: The Stahamator, Thing Mackie, J-Lo, not Woody Harrelson in a cowboy hat
Plot: Jason Statham is subject to a very particular typecast. Not just a slick badass criminal, but a slick badass criminal who lives by a code and has to go against his conspirators after they betray him. So you can be forgiven for thinking of this movie as a Marvel Ultimate version of Transporter. But really this story predates those movies, since it's based on a Richard Stark novel, and unlike Payback which changed the character name, Parker carries this banner proudly.
The story starts with a botched (thanks to the connected dumbass in the crew) but recovered heist, but of course things don't stay simple. After the heist, Michael Chiklis tries to change the deal (dude, seriously, that's Statham in the back of the car. You're just gonna get your ass killed!), Parker is seemingly killed, but the aforementioned connected dumbass can't follow through so Parker lives, recovers, and seeks out his elaborate revenge.
The movie is fun, violent, and clever. Although Statham's Texan alter ego in the second act made me wonder if they got Woody Harrelson to double for him.
Viewing Advice: If you like Jason Statham movies, you'll like this movie. This is a prime example of a Statham film. If you like to see Michael Chiklis lose his shit, you'll like this movie.
GENERAL ADVICE: If you're committing a crime and working with a bald British dude, DON'T BETRAY HIM! It won't end well for you. I don't care if the crime is sneaking into a theater, the betrayal is simply not opening the fire escape to let him in, and the bald guy is Karl Pilkington, you will be brutally murdered by a shiny headed limey, and people will be cheering it.
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